if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
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