My liver just broke up with me...
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
