It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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