Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle