Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?