you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage