On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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