hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
