Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize