And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
