I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
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