He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
