how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
