the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Randomize
