You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize