Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
My brain says no but my pants say off.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
