if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
