this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Randomize
