my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
You're like the curious george of whores
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Randomize