So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Two words: nipple clamps
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