Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
