I need to stop coming to work sober
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
