when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
