and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
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