Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize