You're a womanizer and a bitch.
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
