So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
