Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
