maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
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