I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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