You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
