You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
