im gay
i know
yea but for you.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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