Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
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