As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
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I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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