I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
