Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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