You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
