evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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