I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.