His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
