sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
jump out the window naked night went bad
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
