Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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