he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Randomize
