The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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