Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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