The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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