You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
