never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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