I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
home. puking in laundry basket.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
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