I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Randomize
