So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
And the cops told us we were all naked.
You're like the curious george of whores
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
