Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
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I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
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Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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