i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
