You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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