I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
my liver is dry heaving
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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