Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
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