More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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