whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize