At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
my liver is dry heaving
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
