Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.

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(510): View more from California

You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...

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(320): View more from Minnesota

so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..

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(519): View more from Ontario

Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.

(416): View more from Toronto

Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!

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(203): View more from Connecticut

They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.

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(828): View more from North Carolina

You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.

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(813): View more from Florida

I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.

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