Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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