Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
thus making me awesome and them whores
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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