dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.