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• (714): View more from California

  He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick

  (714): View more from California

  Ive only called 5 times

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....

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• (917): View more from New York City

  I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help

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• (719): View more from Colorado

  He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet

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• 

  The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.

  (518): View more from New York

  So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?

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  If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (546): View more from

  As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee

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• (708): View more from Illinois

  Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.

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• (419): View more from Ohio

  omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun

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• (475): View more from Connecticut

  And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.

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