Texts From Last Night

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  (207): View more from Maine

  she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race

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  (207): she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race http://tfl.nu/f3bd
  Replies (17) Good night (587) Bad night (3373)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.

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  (706): If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america. http://tfl.nu/uk3q
  Replies (28) Good night (1365) Bad night (2563)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever

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  (913): he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever http://tfl.nu/f5uq
  Replies (35) Good night (659) Bad night (6934)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.

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  (801): Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes. http://tfl.nu/ehqx
  Replies (17) Good night (984) Bad night (3319)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.

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  (586): We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances. http://tfl.nu/gxxu
  Replies (11) Good night (1121) Bad night (3897)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.

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  (360): All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together. http://tfl.nu/fujj
  Replies (13) Good night (4995) Bad night (1155)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again

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  (775): FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again http://tfl.nu/fzl1
  Replies (25) Good night (6640) Bad night (1209)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone

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  (815): Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone http://tfl.nu/4nil
  Replies (6) Good night (2925) Bad night (813)
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  (870): View more from Arkansas

  He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors

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  (870): He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors http://tfl.nu/atyp
  Replies (6) Good night (2450) Bad night (763)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.

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  (916): when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas. http://tfl.nu/o5tw
  Replies (13) Good night (1064) Bad night (2911)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  did you find a tooth?

  (254): View more from Texas

  did you lose one?

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  (512): did you find a tooth? (254): did you lose one? http://tfl.nu/1ieh
  Replies (16) Good night (3576) Bad night (1337)
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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.

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  (337): You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left. http://tfl.nu/h7ai
  Replies (3) Good night (1605) Bad night (536)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts

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  (281): I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts http://tfl.nu/b2dg
  Replies (1) Good night (862) Bad night (714)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts

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  (847): You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts http://tfl.nu/dzv1
  Replies (5) Good night (422) Bad night (842)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.

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  (407): I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream. http://tfl.nu/7e9b
  Replies (2) Good night (545) Bad night (178)

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