Texts From Last Night

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  (217): View more from Illinois

  I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.

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  (217): I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello. http://tfl.nu/7dqs
  Replies (14) Good night (2096) Bad night (581)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.

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  (937): I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving. http://tfl.nu/skfa
  Replies (8) Good night (3908) Bad night (817)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.

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  (614): just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch. http://tfl.nu/9ahk
  Replies (81) Good night (6286) Bad night (1216)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  what did gay clubs do before lady gaga

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  (512): what did gay clubs do before lady gaga http://tfl.nu/x7iq
  Replies (34) Good night (5825) Bad night (930)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex

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  (610): what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex http://tfl.nu/02xp
  Replies (36) Good night (1033) Bad night (4429)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.

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  (715): My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it. http://tfl.nu/q7ku
  Replies (3) Good night (3258) Bad night (1020)
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  (469): View more from Texas

  Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life

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  (469): Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life http://tfl.nu/9mja
  Replies (15) Good night (810) Bad night (4948)
• Favorite

  (309): View more from Illinois

  Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door

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  (309): Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door http://tfl.nu/czgy
  Replies (8) Good night (1322) Bad night (3318)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.

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  (815): There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed. http://tfl.nu/rw7p
  Replies (4) Good night (3201) Bad night (873)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.

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  (402): Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun. http://tfl.nu/qwzs
  Replies (3) Good night (1582) Bad night (808)
• Favorite

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.

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  (780): I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets. http://tfl.nu/hrg7
  Replies (2) Good night (1002) Bad night (384)
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.

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  (586): I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird. http://tfl.nu/l2d5
  Replies (13) Good night (1261) Bad night (406)
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.

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  (530): When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck. http://tfl.nu/3nwx
  Replies (11) Good night (1835) Bad night (626)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...

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  (360): You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again... http://tfl.nu/ebe2
  Replies (3) Good night (631) Bad night (389)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"

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  (425): Apparently I'm a "fire hazard" http://tfl.nu/xnbz
  Replies (1) Good night (624) Bad night (240)

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