i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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